Hey all: saw this poetry challenge over on Gabriella’s site. First time I’ve tried a Haibun but it seems like fun. Join us!
We’re meant to link our poetry to a photo posted by Gabriella for inspiration.
Under the Bridge
If I stay here in this space no one can know me nor who I was before the years took away my dreams. Lying, rushing, cast-aways among the stone coldness of your heart, while my heart dreamed so big for us. Washed up anniversaries and failures. Roadtrips and starter homes. No infant smiles or playgrounds full of carousels could save us. Round round we go. Never right, always wrong. Longing for more.
Can you hear that sound?
of desolate hearts pounding
Homeless here alone
Photo courtesy of Gabriella
LOVE TO WRITE 
I love the opening: “If I stay here in this space no one can know me nor who I was before the years took away my dreams.” This hits me really hard.
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thank you and I’m glad you felt the longing right off the top
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I really feel the longing in your words! And your haiku expresses so much!
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thank you – I really enjoyed combining the two forms
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You write haibun like a pro. I love this.
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aww – thank you! It was fun trying out something new
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I never thought of this scenario but you have captured the feelings of the homeless and lonely people ~ Thanks for joining us for Haibun Monday ~
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Thanks and it was fun to join in!
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I really love the view of the cavity under the bridge… a dwelling for some.. a homeless or the troll waiting for the Billy goats perhaps.
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ahh yes the billy goats too
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Impressive metaphorical take on a scene of lost dreams and dogged desires. Well written.
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“while my heart dreamed so big for us” made me sigh
Finishing reading left me spent. There is so much honesty here, thank you
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I love this line:
“cast-aways among the stone coldness of your heart”
I love the subtle stone castings that happen in that statement, the time – and wishes – spent.
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Thanks De – I love seeing what lines stand out to people
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Welcome to dVerse! Great job with your first haiku–poetic prose and great haiku.
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thanks so much – enjoyed reading everyone’s
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A heartbreaking take on this photo. Concise but meaningful words – the senryu is heartbreaking and tells the story of sadness wonderfully well. I have sometimes seen the homeless here where I live, under bridges, making a home the best way they can. Thank you for writing this and thank you for joining us here. Wonderful prose.
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thanks and it was great to join in!
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thanks so much – sometimes these poems take a lot out of us!
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I like how you voice frustration and disillusion. I am so glad in the end your persona decides to leave so as to live.
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This is an emotive poem – the prose and haiku lend themselves the form and topic well. Great work!
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Thanks so much Hannah!
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Searching under bridges
for homeless souls..
homeless finding
souls with
or without
culture
bridges…
Human fuLL
soUl bRidge
withiN..:)
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Great start! I hope you enjoyed it enough to do more. 🙂
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Thanks and I really enjoyed it – will stop by for more!
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Powerful emotions and definitely a home-less feeling about that bridge. Your first haibun is sad…but solid!
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I really like the style of your prose…sharp, concise. There is a feeling of lost dreams and hopelessness. Powerful stuff!
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